- Liesel Julsrud and Sophia Marren found out they were dating the same guy via TikTok.
- They shared details of their relationship online after finding out about their common predicament.
- Both women said posting the experience helped them find support and heal emotionally.
On an average day in March 2021, Liesel Julsrud, a 25-year-old Missouri-based law student, was browsing TikTok, as she often does, when she came across something that brought her to a halt.
Julsrud was watching a prep video with me — where the creators film themselves dressing up for a particular event. The TikToker in the video, Sophia Marren, said she was getting ready to go to dinner at the man she was dating at the time, and she continued to film his kitchen as he prepared the meal.
What made Julsrud’s heart skip a beat was the fact that she recognized the kitchen, and she recognized the man whose face was partially obscured in the clip. It was the same person she had been dating for five months, she told Insider.
Two years later, Julsrud shared her story and she eventually reached Marren. The couple reunited through social media, and thousands of viewers eagerly watched the saga unfold.
It all started with a harmless TikTok that unexpectedly went viral
Although Julsrud and her partner haven’t spoken about being exclusive, she told Insider that she feels they have a serious connection. A few days before seeing Marren’s video, she asked for a breakup with him as she was frustrated that they weren’t moving towards a more substantial commitment.
Yet she was shocked to see him with Marren, another local woman in St Louis, whom she knew but was not friends with at the time.
Julsrud told Insider that her immediate reaction was to confront the man she saw about TikTok (the man’s identity is known to Insider, but his name is withheld due to concerns about online harassment.)
“I’m sure he got caught in a corner because he didn’t make these videos,” Julsrud said, adding, “But at the same time, if somebody else posts something about you, what can you do? It was out of his control, and all he could say was, ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ because it’s on video.”
Julsrud ended the relationship and said she was “traumatized” by the situation. It was almost two years later that she felt more able to joke about what had happened. In January, she shared her story right where the drama began — on TikTok.
“When you were on your FYP and came across a TikTok of a girl getting ready for dinner at a guy’s house…and that was the guy you had been seeing for five months,” the caption read at the screen of his message.
Julsrud’s post went viral, receiving 4.8 million views, and one of those viewers was 26-year-old Marren, who until now had no idea the man she was seeing in the era was dating someone else.
Marren, who dated the man for seven months and called it quits four months after the video was posted, reached out to Julsrud on Instagram, and the two women chatted about their experiences. Both told Insider they felt their relationship was serious, even if not technically exclusive, and felt misled by the man, who declined to comment for this article.
Thousands of TikTok viewers followed to hear the story unfold
The two women then made several videos explaining to their TikTok followers how their relationships went and why they felt wronged in the way they were treated, receiving more than 7 million views between them.
Hundreds of commenters got heavily invested in the details of their story, referring to their experiences as the “tea” – a slang term for drama or gossip – of the week on TikTok. While most commenters were hugely supportive of both women, many also asked them to share increasingly personal details about who the man was.
Both Marren and Julsrud told Insider that the attention online had become overwhelming and that they had tried to share their true thoughts on the situation while respecting the man’s privacy and not exposing his identity. to millions of people.
“There was this boundary of like, I want to give as much as I can, but I’m also not about to keep giving people what they want just because they want the story,” he said. Marren said.
“It was an interesting balance, especially when a lot of people online almost seem to be there with pitchforks outside your house saying, ‘Show us the man! ‘” added Julsrud.
Social media can help women reunite and heal wounds from past relationships, say TikTokers
Marren and Julsrud told Insider that sharing their stories with the internet allows them to process their emotions, which helps them both on a personal level.
“It’s like a form of therapy, just to joke about it and talk about it with someone else,” Julsraid said when describing her videos.
Marren added that receiving support from others after telling her story has boosted her confidence after her relationship was broken.
“At the time, I blamed myself and did the normal, ‘Oh, what did I do wrong?’ or, ‘Why didn’t he love me?’ But if anything, this situation, even though it was super shitty, made me start loving myself more,” she told Insider.
The biggest reward for both women was seeing that they weren’t alone, as their viral videos encouraged other women to comment on similar experiences.
“The good thing has been the kind of community, of mostly women, that it’s built,” Julsrud said, adding, “My biggest takeaway is that it’s important to be a girls’ girl and to empower people. “other women. often as women to be against each other, and if you see the same man, to want to claim them. We have to support each other and realize that’s really cool.”
Julsrud said she was proud of herself and Marren for sharing a story of “women coming together,” rather than turning on each other.
“I don’t think I’m some kind of warrior that’s going to change the dating scene just through my prankish little TikToks. But I mean, calling behavior is important, and it’s something that rarely happens. “, she said.
Julrsud continued, “I’m glad we can be more open and talk about experiences, what to watch out for, what red flags look like in relationships. I think it helps you feel less alone and more like you know what to watch out for.”
“Sometimes the TikTok community can be really, really awesome and help you through breakups,” she said.
For more stories like this, check out Insider’s digital literacy team coverage here.