Judd Apatow returned for the fourth time to host the 75th Annual DGA Awards, where he opened Saturday’s show with yucks to the voice of Austin Butler, the presence of an “Fk Boy Table” and the Tom Cruise stunts.
Unfortunately, Apatow’s offbeat remarks couldn’t be heard outside the ballroom at the Beverly Hilton. As in previous years, The King of Staten Island The director ordered the DGA to cut the flow of his speech to the press room so he could enjoy “creative freedom”, an insider explained. Deadline therefore had to piece together what he said from various tweets.
“We’re not even on the radio tonight” Apatow pointed out at the top of his monologue. “This show is broadcast live at the back of this room. This show is so out of place, it’s shocking that Elon Musk hasn’t bought it yet.
Apatow then swept away Butler’s Elvis Presley voice, which no one really believes has disappeared since he finished Baz Luhrmann’s film. So Apatow snapped that Butler’s next film will be “The Jerry Lewis Story”.
As for Cruise and his insistence that he do all his own stunts, Apatow joked, “Tell Tom that Thelma and Louise didn’t exactly jump over the cliff themselves. Tom, have you heard of CGI? »
Apatow added that the stunts look like “an advertisement for Scientology.”
When it comes to the infamous “F–k Boy Table,” Apatow was referring to director Michael Shea’s team on HBO Max. Boy’s Island, which was up for Best Reality Direction at the DGA Awards this year. shea lost Run wild with Bear Grylls. (Boy’s Island was also canceled in December).
Luckily, the rest of Apatow’s jokes for the night were heard by all:
“I made a joke about the dildo (in his monologue). Seth Rogen sent it to me this morning. He’s a good friend.
“It’s really nice what Glenn Weiss said (about thanking his family). To my family, to Leslie, Maude and Iris, I couldn’t do what I do without you. Where are they sitting? Oh yeah they’re not there because they do not care.“
“I believe our friend Aubrey Plaza is here. I can’t believe you have a worse place than Fkboy Island. You need to talk to your publicist. (Later, Plaza said she actually sat at the F-boy table and “love it, that’s where I belong.”)
“I would like to say hello to my team at my table, my manager Jimmy Miller for many decades, my agent David Kramer…yeah they’re not here, they don’t care either. I’m literally alone here. I don’t have anyone .
“This show is pretty good, don’t you think? Sam Levinson is here tonight. He is the writer-director-creator of Euphoria. My daughter Maude is on this show. It is very successful. My only frustration, I kind of want her to have a baby. (Editor’s note: he said something about wanting to be a grandfather. I don’t know, man). She said, ‘Dad, I’m playing a 16-year-old on a high school TV show.’ I saw the show. I don’t think it would be that weird to have a little crack baby on this show. Your baby can play crack baby, a two-pay situation on this show.
“Let’s hear it for me, I work hard. It’s a scary time in the business, isn’t it? Everything changes very quickly. People don’t know what to do. All the studios can merge…then at some point there will only be one studio, which would be a plus for me, because then there would only be one d–k to suck. It’s such a time saver! Seth Rogen sent it to me.
“I feel guilty for this dirty joke I told before. I feel especially guilty because Seth didn’t write that joke, I just got scared (so he said Seth’s name). Judd Hirsch sent it to me and said it would work.
“Our next presenter has done Boogie Night, There Will Be Blood and Licorice Pizza. He’s never won a DGA award, which makes me think this whole night is bullshit. Please welcome Paul Thomas Anderson.
“Our last presenter won an Oscar and a DGA award for making the independent film Nomadland about a woman living in a van. Then she made The Eternals, so she didn’t have to live in a van by the river. Please welcome Chloe Zhao.